The Importance of Choosing Well

Toronda Daniels
Apr 23
2 min read

Updated: Apr 25

“You don’t have to be fully healed to be worthy of love—but you do deserve a space that doesn’t reopen your wounds.”

When Emotion Leads the Way

I didn’t grow up seeing many examples of healthy relationships. So for a long time, I chose based on emotion—what felt good in the moment. But when the feelings faded, so did my commitment.

Emotions are powerful, but they can also cloud our judgment. When we lead with emotion alone, we risk seeing through a glass dimly—missing red flags, misreading compatibility, or ignoring our own needs. Love should never cost us our clarity.

The Hope of Healing in Partnership

Many of us enter relationships with unhealed wounds, hoping someone else will fix what’s broken. But healing is our responsibility. The right partner doesn’t do the work for us—they create space for it. They offer patience, support, and stability.

There’s something deeply beautiful about being with someone who makes you feel safe enough to become whole.

“Some people are drawn to your brokenness—not to heal it, but to feed on it. That’s why choosing well isn’t just wise—it’s necessary.”

When Brokenness Is Exploited

But we must also be mindful. Everyone we connect with won’t have pure intentions. Some people are drawn to brokenness—not to help heal it, but to manipulate it.

When someone is motivated by control, power, or self-interest, our vulnerability becomes a tool they use to their advantage. That’s why discernment matters. It’s not just about choosing love—it’s about choosing safe love.

Choosing Yourself in the Process

Choosing well means being honest about what we need, trusting what we feel, and protecting the parts of us still healing. It's not just about who we love—but how we love ourselves in the process.

So pause for a moment and ask yourself: Am I choosing from a healed place… or from a hurting one?