"Grandma, I Came Back”: How Grief Led Me to Soulful Living
- Toronda Daniels
- Apr 8
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 22
In May of 2006, my grandfather passed away. I took a couple days off from work to be with family and attend his funeral. After the service, I stayed a little while longer, just being with everyone, then decided it was time to head back home.
As I was getting ready to leave, my grandmother looked at me and asked, “Where you going? "I said, “Grandma, I’m going home. ”She looked at me and said, “Why?”
That caught me off guard. I told her, “Grandma, I only have a dog to get home to.”And in the most loving, grandma way—without saying too much—she let me know she didn’t want me to go. I could feel it in her eyes and in her silence.
So I paused, picked up the phone, and canceled the plans I had for the next day. But I had a part-time job that was counting on me, and we had a field trip scheduled early the next morning. I thought, I need to honor my commitment.
Not wanting to wake anybody or make it a big deal, I slipped out when some guests came through the door. That day was the last time I heard my grandmother's voice.
I had every intention of going back to her after the field trip. But I was tired. I had to work the next day. Life was life-ing. So I said, “I’ll go back this weekend. ”The weekend came and I pushed it off again. “Next weekend,” I said.
A few days before that next weekend arrived, I got the call—my grandmother was in a coma.
I was stunned. Grieving. Still holding on to hope. I said, “I’ll be there tomorrow.”
That next morning, my sister went into labor. I rushed to the hospital to be there as new life entered the world, while silently praying that another life—one so dear to me—would stay.
As soon as the baby arrived, I left one hospital and drove to another. Grandma was in the ICU, and I had to wait for visiting hours. When I finally walked into her room, I was overwhelmed—with love, with sadness, and with guilt.
I stood by her bed quietly, but my heart was screaming: "Grandma, I came back.”
That whole week, I drove from Kannapolis back to Salisbury every chance I got. Each time I stood beside her bed, I said the same thing in my heart: "Grandma, I came back.”
In those moments, I started thinking about her life—her joys, her struggles, the turns it must have taken. And then I thought about my own. When it’s my time, will I be able to say I was happy? Will I be able to say I was truly living?
About a week later, I walked into her room with family by my side. This time would be the last. We stood there as she took her final breath. I wasn’t ready to let her go, but I knew it was time.
Her passing broke my heart, but it also woke something up in me. In her leaving, I found my living.
Those quiet moments by her bedside made me realize just how fragile life is… and how easy it is to get caught up in the rush of work, schedules, and “next weekends.” They reminded me that true living—soulful living—requires presence. It’s about showing up for the people we love. It’s about honoring our spirit’s need for connection, reflection, and healing.
That’s part of the reason Soulful Escapes Travel Group was born. It’s more than just a travel experience—it’s about creating intentional moments to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what truly matters. Whether you're standing at the edge of the ocean or sitting with your thoughts in a quiet village, it's about embracing life on a deeper level.
Because if there's anything I’ve learned, it’s that the moments we choose to be present are the ones that stay with us forever.
So take the trip. Make the call. Spend the time. Because somewhere, someone’s heart may be saying:
“I’m glad you came back.”
🌺 In Loving Memory & Ongoing Connection
If this piece touched a part of your heart, you’re not alone. Grief reminds us of the love that lingers, the presence that remains, and the stories that still need telling.
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